I called ... ...

I tried calling him yesterday but he didn't picked up my call, guess he must be busy but then he also didn't want to return call. Actually I just want see how he was and hear his voice, that is all. After all we were together once, it is really not easy for me to just put him out of my life totally. So I just tell myself, I'll do what I feel like doing (in a rational way :) )

I'm not sure why he refuse to talk to me.... I have no idea. Probably pissed after my sms on Monday. Or probably, he's just taking the opportunity to just avoid me totally , not wanting to have anything to do with me anymore, so he won't feel bad abt any anything, or probably didn't want to talk avoiding any further misunderstanding. Actually whatever the reason, there is no point for me to wonder.

Whatever the case, the situation is beyond my control, all I can do is; I can choose to be very sad abt it, or I can choose to live well. I can be the latter... ... but I am taking it slowly. Feeling every inch of the pain (maybe I'm after all a bit sadomasochism)...haha.... anyway, I'll do whatever that makes me happy. I will take time to think abt it, learn from the whole thing, and hopefully soon I will recover and be a better person in my next relationship.

I tell myself tomorrow will be better, and the only way to witness a better tomorrow is to take a step forward to face my fears rite?

"...... there will always be a better tomorrow..."