Gong Xi Fa Cai (I love this year)

Yippee… the year is finally over!! It’s a brand new year and a good year! The Year of the Golden Pig…. and…. I’m a dragon…. So it’s double good! :)

Gong Xi Fa Cai, Bu Bu Gao Sheng !! good health and beauty always…

I hope my dad health will get better.

Oh mum hope that I will find someone this year and get married soon !! haha… seems tough leh… but must have positive thinking… believing that it will happen will happen.

My Cute Boy

Fran say I cant scold him cos it’s CNY…. So I came up with substitute words like; “CB” and “NB”.

“CB” – cute boy
“NB” – nutty boy

“comfortable-ness”

I do not know how fran and me suddenly ended up back together. It just happened. There isn’t any excitement or romantic moments but just feeling of “comfortable-ness”. I just feel very much at ease with him. Ofcos the happy moments of us laughing together, poking him just to see his going to be irritated face, squabbling over silly stuff… all these are just very comfortable.

I told him that this time we should continue to lead our own life and not live the life of each other. Probably last time we failed cos we try to hard to fit into each other’s lifestyle. This way, it might be good to see if we can accept each other for who we are rather than having an image of someone that will never happened.

I do not know how this will turn out…time will tell.

V Day

It's Valentine's day .... Passed Fran the cookies and book during lunch. Made appointment with John for a drink after dinner to catch up before he flies back to Boise.

(ok in conclusion, never ever go out on V day unless you've a date or you're with your date. cos there is nothing to eat for singles!! We stopped by 2 rest only to find that they served only set meals for couple and nothing from the menu! I mean come on.... are they discriminating singles from eating out on this day? so stupid. So poor me, I didn't have anything to eat, but dessert and coffee... )

After coffee, I brought him to Equinox for more drinks and dance... I think he had a good time, and esp thrilled when one of the gals there approached him! haha.

I was rather active that nite probably due to the coming CNY mood, so met up with Kah Wing for a a movie.... but!!!! :@ no ticket... can u beat that? who in the hell would watched a 1240am movie mid week?! Duhz....?! And I tot most couple would be home by that time making out... haha... sigh... no wonder birth rate in spore is dropping. It is becos there's too much activities to do in S'pore.

"Finishing Well"

I called up many publishers and book stores in spore today.... so many that I lost count.... I finally found the book "Finishing Well".

CNY cookies

I almost passed out due to exhaustion yesterday nite... Never knew making CNY cookies can be so tiring! We started at 3pm by buying the stuff, the off to gmok hse to start making the dough and started to bake by 5pm.... Gmok's oven is really way too small..!!! we estimated that we probably need to stay till 7am the next day to finish baking. haha.. so lucky we went over to karen's hse to bake the rest of the dough...

Well we were pretty ambitious, for first timer like us. We made Almond cookie and Chocolate Chip! That's why we ended up baking till 2.30am! haha... believed me... it's more tiring than partying and dancing the whole nite. I couldn't showered faster... just so to jump right in bed. Talk abt being shag out... :P

Well overall, I think the effort is worth it since the cookies turned out pretty good!

Highly paradoxical

Life is pretty much back the same after the sage with the doc. Working, going for my dance class once a week, movies over the weekend with diff ple, home resting… didn’t have much mood to dance lately so I sort of disappeared from union sq altogether.

I must admitted that the short thrill with the doc puts my life in a state of mess and confusion for a while. Regrets? Deep down I have to admit – yes.

I must also admitted that I am disappointed with myself esp for being so attracted to something so “posh and beautiful”…. But this is a dream that will never materialize. It took me a while to convince him to stop contacting me and finally he’s getting it and have stopped (at least for a week already)….. it’s good. It might be just as well cos after all what’s the point in staying in contact? It will only lead to more hurt for the both of us. One thing for sure is, I still do think of him. Although it was briefed… it was very different.

It was highly paradoxical.

I never judged his actions not so much, becos I was in it too. But also becos he often confided that he felt tortured that he was doing wrong… Absurdly, this reinforce my opinion of him as a good man. And what right have I to judge him, where I myself is also wrong?

Francis told me many times; there is a controllable me and a uncontrollable others. I can’t control what others will do and say but I can control my own actions and be responsible to them. So I tell myself I have to take things into control…

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

Those who are still single may learn something from here.... Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your relationship or marriage ....

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

Here's the answer....

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love...

Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that _ expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?"

............ And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown.

People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage..... It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.
And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your relationship / marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling