The greatest man in my life

It had been a year since papa left to a more peaceful place.  4th april 2007.  I really hate that day till now and often i  felt that life is so unfair, having to take away something so precious in my life.  He taught and shown me what is real love...and that real love does exist, it is in the family.  he had also shown us that love is giving without asking anything in return.  The unconditional love that he showered to everyone and esp his wife and kids.  

one year, and yet it seems like it was just yesterday.  the pain of losing someone so dear is still so fresh.  that day sis was packing and she came across a slip of email that i had written to pa abt my thesis when i was in UK and how he had helped me redraft certain parts of it, she kept it and gave it to me and said, "tot u might want to have this."  I took one look at it and that instance, every bit of my feelings for pa just came rushing back, tears filled my eyes instantly and i cried and i knew i couldn't read on.  i kept that piece of email without finishing it.  i knew i wasn't ready to face it.  I wasn't ready too today when i went to his tomb.  i told pa, my greatest regret is not telling him, how great a father he had been to us, how much i love him.   it wasn't his last few weeks that i said i love him.  but it wasn't enough.  

Papa thank you for your guidance and love.  you're the greatest dad and i am so glad to be ur daughter.  

Drunk

Ed came home drunk today after entertaining some taiwanese guest.  Lao shi called and told me to take care of him, but i couldn't cos i was still working in the office, and tat time was already 1130pm.  i was so pissed, cos i am already swamped and this is not something that i want to deal with at the moment.  I was also feeling sad that i couldn't take care of him and felt so helpless.  

lucky that silly boy still managed to make it home and puke downstairs before making his way up.  (and i found out much later that he probably slept downstair for a while before making his way up).  thank god he was fine, otherwise i would have felt so guilty for not been there.  

sigh wat a day it was.  by the time i got home, it was already 1 am +.  slept for few hrs and went for my early morning presentation at client's place.  i dont know how i managed to survived thru.  so glad it was finally over.  sigh... and more to come maybe.  

ed is really the sweetest....  supporting me, ok... only the drunk part which i had "let off my stream" liao. haha....

swampeddddd........

I'm so swamped with work.  Left the office at 10pm.  For now I cant imagine how bad next week would be.  It's a critical 1.5week for me next.  my head might just rolled next week and i might just die a horrible death. sob.  I just have to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best :P

Lost - day 1

sense of emptiness.  sense of missing something terribly.....   something just not rite.  Oh dear... i hope thursday come by quickly!  

Stressed out......

I'm into the 3rd week of my new job... and yes I'm feeling the stress.  It must be really quite bad as I have quarreled with ed few times the past weeks... maybe i was a little short fuse or maybe things just happened all at once.  As some point I did asked myself why did I left a comfortable and stress free job for this... haha... I guessed the answer to this is... I've come to a cross road of my career path and now is the time to decide to do something more.

It had been years since I felt so stress abt something.  I just have to tell myself to continue on.  After all it's only the beginning.  Yes I am sure I can do it.  :)