13 years ago ...

Warren send out an email invite for a class gathering this fri nite... but alas... no one can make it! how sad. Nonetheless, his email with photos flashes back many laughter's and memories. Goodness, how much we have all aged ... we did come a long way together, to be constantly in touched every now and then, that is a good thing. That is for sure an effort on everyone's part.

I am very lucky to have met this bunch of friends...

(Keryn, Jenny, Caroline, Aiping, Warren, Sean, Sharon, Alan, Ivan, Max, Viper, Ken, Francis, Huiling, Paul, Cedric... ...) and many more...

I think we're one of the most united class?! I remembered how we used to sit behind the lecture hall reading magazine, chatting, sleeping, dreaming, playing cards, anything but listening to the lecturers’. haha... once we made so much noise that the lecturer got rather mad and asked the last 2 rows to stay behind after the class to lecture us! haha...

Some memorable stuff :

- skipping class on day 1 with Keryn to go Orchard to shop! talk abt hitting it off immediately! haha.. gals...
- I celebrated my 17th birthday at Fire disco. Booked a Karaoke room there, and most of the class turned up. (yeah, I know Fire disco!! :@ ) ... That time was my first time going to disco! Talk abt starting out late in life..... :) After partying went supper with Keryn at Dennis rest and spend the nite at her place.
- running ard with Sharon, just to catch a glimpse of my "big big" eye guy (my senior and I think his name is Dennis?!)
- we gals (or rather my group) only makeup and dress up better on every of our last exam paper. Cos it's a norm that we party after the last paper with the whole class…
- I remembered during our 2nd year we had a D&D at westin. I played a plank on a guy (Derrick) and he was rather mad at me. I have to run to the dance floor with my class guys just so they will hid me away from him... :D Had my first slow dance that nite with....
- Joined the freshmen orientation as one of the group leaders and organized the Jam & Hop nite... and the response was overwhelming.
- we had 3 “stunt” men in our class… (max, viper and paul). Well they tried to be but failed, and it remains a joke till date.
- we often have bbq and chalets. We do have lotsa fun, “tonging” nite at east coast.
- I received my first Valentine ’s Day flowers from I think 2 guys. Cos someone in school was selling roses….*sigh* at the age of 18?! Gosh, see late bloomer again… :D
- well a guy from my lecture sang me a few love songs over the phone, that was sweet.
- how we used to study only during the study week, clamping few months work in a week into our brains… I think it’s a miracle how we pulled thru. Oh, we’ll ask our group “xiao hau” to go take notes from her admirers… ;p
- how we used to sign attendance for each other.
- oh man, the list just goes on and on… … *chuckles*

Thinking back, how I missed those days… so carefree and happy.

I was looking at the photos that Warren send…

Do we look so “goon” then ? oh gosh, where is our fashion sense? Our hairstyle, dressing is so yucky… well maybe retro in it’s way. :D It’s really interesting to see how much we’ve all evolved with time … …

Well, one thing for sure. We’ve all changed for the better and wiser.

A Sweet Monday Morning

Started my morning with a pleasant surprised from fran.

First he called me to wake me up at 715am and it was then I found out that he had not slept the whole nite (working on his project); next I received a call at 8am asking me to look out the window; and gosh... he was downstairs waving at me :) I was so happy and just lost of words... even thought of jumping down to hug him, but I was on my bath tower... haha... That silly boy went to buy me breakfast, and he even remembered that today is "Chu Yi" so he got me veg noodle! I'm so touched. At that moment I wished I could just hug him and not let go...

Dreams are reality waiting to happen

I reckoned my unstable behavior the past 2 days is due to my PMS... :D well I guessed it did affected my mood swing... ... haha.... see one good thing abt being a gal is the ability to blame mother nature's beautiful creation of female beings.

Woman are emotional creatures, at times we just need to feel the assurances from the person we loved, to hear the words that we hope to hear, just so to know that we are on the right path. (I guess that was what I expect from Francis). Actually I was really quite angry with him being so hard on me (sometimes). He doesn’t understand why I am so unsecured (ok, maybe he forget at times). Well, despite knowing what I had gone thru, he still thinks I’m unreasonable and demanding. That is really hurtful. It’s not like I want to be “crazy” at times, it’s just my insecurity acting up again…. Why are men such rigid and stubborn creatures, or are they simply plain ignorant? Where has their creativity senses gone too? *sigh*… no wonder so many gals are turning les these days… hahaha….

Some serious tots did go thru my head as well. One thing for sure is I cannot continued to live in my own shadows and nightmare. I have to pick myself up to get out of this "trusting crisis". How much so I want to protect myself, I need to open up again. This is something I need to do for myself and my future.

Every chances we takes involve some kind of risk, at times it could be a risk worth taking while other times, it could be a risk taken to learn something.

"Everything happened for a reason".

The only way to witness a better tomorrow is to face my fears and take a step forward right?

I once told a friend ... ...

"Dreams are reality waiting to happen."

The biggest failure is to stop chasing your dreams and drowning ourselves in sorrows. Many of us have fallen, we just got to master our will and courage to pick ourselves up. If we do give up, then all is lost and we'll never know the possibilities that could be realized...

Meanwhile, I will continue to be in this beautiful dream.

Some quotes...

Evelyn gave me something to read before she left.... some sort of quote book... she selected a few for me:
(one of which...)

" I wan to be scared. I want to feel unsure. That's the only way I learn, the only way I feel challenged." ... by Connie Chung.

To say or not to say…..

I realized I’m quite a private person. I dun normally like to talk abt my problems (be it work or relationship). I guessed in this way I took my mum’s character. She’s rather quite with little complains and nag…. But I do bitch a lot.. hmmm actually I’m not really quiet “quiet” but more of dun like to open up so much. I find it hard to relate my problems to anyone, unless it’s something major!

I have a gf who can tell me her whole day complains at work or any quarrels she had with her bf… it’s amazing how she can remb every single little detail. To the point that I felt I was there to witness it.. haha….. well it might be good in some ways, it helps to release stress and frustrations. I tried many times trying to tell my gf abt my quarrels I have with my partner, but I cant seems to say much…. Maybe I’m forgetful! Haha…. Or I just dun know how to open up… (I think is both).

I have improved in the recent 2 years though, used to be worst. Probably that’s why most of my friend thought that my marriagen was so blissful then… cos I dun complain at all. It wasn’t until my separation that I start to open up and they realized that I had indeed had my fair share of problems then.

I tend to be very vocal at times. I think is the upbringing. I speak freely and not a lot of people could accept it. Esp so in a heated discussion or exchanged I am more aggressive but I dun meant it. Guess Francis had his 1st experience last Sun. sigh… I beta control my temper and tone. One remark that he made I remembered and was rather hurting was, “is this how you talk to you partner…..” In a way he was implying, no wonder they ran away. :( sigh… maybe loh.

I better do some self reflection.

Can't take my eyes off you...

It’s another sat or rather sun early morning… the usual... returning from union sq. Recently it seems like it’s no longer that much fun dancing cos maybe I dun see any improvement. In fact I dun think I have improved since i2. I dun know how I’m going on to take i4. Well just for the fun of it, plus the fact that I’m taking it with Francis. Hopefully he will motivate me more. :)

Talking about Francis…. Today I sort of felt different or rather felt more comfortable with him at union. Think I m ok with him being around me like my bf.

Partying

Went partying with francis today at Thumpers (for the first time). In fact I cant even remb when was the last time I went partying with my partner.

Saw the other side of him that I knew of but never quite witnessed it before. I couldn’t help but admitted that I am really attracted to this dangerous side of him. His charisma and frivolous attitude …. Yet the francis I know for the past one month is rather serious and tame. Tame in a sense of “tone down”. I don’t know which side of him I preferred.... ...

Well the good thing is maybe both. On the other hand, I couldn't help but wondered in my mind; how long he will last being the “guai” and tone down him. Is he really being himself? Would it be at the end of the day, he still preferred his single carefree days of partying. A fear that I felt that one day he would be telling me that I should have known how he was on the day I know him.

Yes I know I’m being cynical again. Couldn’t help it, but just wondered…..

Good time bad times...

“Everyone can go thru the good times, but how many can pull thru a bad times.”

When I heard this… it really sets me thinking about my past experiences and future.

What I went thru in my past relationships….did it fail becos we didn’t or couldn’t go thru the hard times together in solving all problems? I guessed a lot of couples out there enjoyed the bliss of a peaceful relationship so much that when the hard times comes, they are just lost and didn’t know how to handle the changes… it’s always easier to run, taking the easy way out of a problem.

It sort of sets me thinking…. Will I be like that too? How strong will I be? Am I a fair weather person?