The after effect

The problem with me is that I’m a very impatient person. I hate the agony of waiting for something and esp answers. My no 1 killer to someone’s patient. I pissed people off by keep pressing for an answer. I know…. Sometimes I slap myself after I’ve done it. I used to be worst… much worst. I already improved but it’s still not good enough… I have to do beta than now.

I voiced out my feeling of breaking up with fran… not becos I dun love him anymore or not becos I dun treasure what we have or not becos I was flicker abt r/s. I thought through the whole nite not sleeping and all that came to my head was wat happened that nite, and how I couldn’t make him happy. I must say his words came back to me many many times, and each time it cuts deeply.

How can a person so dear think of me as such.

I felt like a selfish bitch only placing my own problems first. Then I also thought abt the glitters I saw on his face… I was disturbed and sad when I saw it and naturally I kicked a big fuss…. But thinking back, ok I believed him. What to do with so many bitches out there who like to stick their sticky oily face to him. *Yucks* well i was thinking to myself these few days of how the situation that nite could have been better handled by both. Self-reflection. Ha.

The only thing that went thru my mind on sun was that i was not good enough for him :(

It’s so painful these few days. I realized he is the first person I had let into my life after Patrick. Is the passion and love I had for him enough? I know I hadn’t been good enough for him. I’m sure he can find someone much beta than me. I guessed this time is more painful than the last time… sigh.